Sunday, January 20, 2008

Musings of an Emotional, Pregnant Woman

You ever have one of those children that seems to justify your existence?

This is 4 year old dynamo. I have been thinking about him a lot lately and how much I love him. He is my love bug that always seems to brighten my day. I can't stand to see this one cry or be disappointed without it tearing my heart out. Well, over the last few days as he realizes that "D" day is coming for his new baby sister, he has been somewhat more clingy and just wants to be with me. He always yells at my tummy "Hi, Makenna!" or pats and kisses my belly. It just melts my heart.
Well, a couple of days ago, we were going through the days of the week so he could try to put a finger on the timeline for Makenna's arrival. It was 3 or 4 days that were left then and he tapped his cheek in a contemplative manner and said "Okay, then I can have my mommy back." My immediate reaction was to hold him close and not want to ever give him a reason to think he didn't have me. He is my baby that I can't get out of my bed. He adores his older brother, is irritated by the younger right now because he won't leave his "stuff" alone. His most favorite person is most likely Grandma...they just hit it off from the start. Aunt Debbie runs a very close second. He reminds me so much of his sister, Wendy, that at times it is unsettling! He says things, has certain mannerisms, his love for his Dad, his desire to please those around him. The kicker is when he looks at me with those big, baby-brown eyes and says is so hard to tell him no! I think Wendy took some time to have a chat with him and let him know how to get what he wants because he looks so much like her! He also seems to share her sense of compassion for those around him and a desire to do everything. I asked him if he wanted to play soccer or t-ball and his face got a confused look and he said, "Well, I want to do both!" How dare I ask him to choose!
I could go on about all of my kids, but I just felt like he was kind of getting lost in the crowd lately...between all of little Adam's school success and Samuel being the baby and with Makenna on the way. I just needed to make sure he knows his mother loves him beyond measure.
I am having an emotional day, knowing I am going to be out of the house for a few days. I worry about Sam because we haven't ever been apart overnight. I worry about the responsibilities I feel like I am dumping on my mom...2 active boys are a lot for her and then Sam will get thrown into the mix occassionally. She and Deb do a lot for me and my family, especially when Adam is out of town.
I'm so looking forward to Makenna's arrival just so I can bend over and pick stuff up off the floor! Is that terrible or what? Every time I have seen or felt her move today, I want to make a special note of how it looked and felt, since she will be my last. One last comment before I make anyone want to throw up....I am really looking forward to seeing Adam hold his new daughter. He really steps up to the plate for me and our babies at this time. For as nervous as I know he is to be in the OR when they deliver her, I hope he forgets all the icky stuff and just has an opportunity to savor the experience and enjoy this precious little spirit that snuck into our family while we weren't looking...or ...errrr, well you know surprises happen!

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